Aging was turned off this week
We Are The Champions
by the late great Freddie Mercury and Queen
Here we are on the fourth week in the Asylum Cretin. I mean really, the residents are scraping the bottom of the barrel as far as entertaining themselves go, and the things they dare to do.
Here, Norma Jean bet Alice she could eat this piece of pizza without a fly getting in her mouth. Heh. Alice won. We had to give Norma the Heimlich maneuver when the a fly got stuck in her throat and started wiggling, jiggling, and tickling inside her.....
I entertained myself by trying to do some cleaning around here, besides finishing up my studies to become a Captain Hero. Somebody had dumped a bunch of garbage in the front yard that drew varmits. I got out there and killed all the bugs off, but it really freaked me out! I am glad one of the other residents didn't find them. I fear it would have put them over the edge.
All of a sudden, breaking wind is the funniest thing in the world. Alice bet Norma Jean in return he could fart for 60 seconds straight without a break. Eh, Norma won that one. Good riddance anyhow, I don't know if I would want the distinction of being the best farter in the house.
Norma has been working on her friendships list, and realized she really did have quite a few friends. She began bragging about all 6 of her friends to...errr...her friends. She wished she could meet even more people.
Alice congratulates Harry on making a few best friends. It is an accomplishment in this asylum to make best friends.
Harry congratulates Freddie on having a peeing accident at a recent party I threw to try and cheer everyone up. Gad.... these people really need to get a social life!
I finally got promoted to Police Chief. I was almost at my goal. However, I still needed 3 body points and 1 cleaning point before I could be promoted to Captain Hero. Hm. Time to take drastic action. I took a vacation day on Friday, and called out sick on Saturday. I had Sunday and the following Monday off. That should give me enough time to get the 4 skill points needed to promote.
Around this time Alice started thinking he could escape the asylum. He is thinking if he could just scale that wall...out there....he would be free... poor poor Alice.
Murmurs about Jennifer's death still floated around. I tried the best I could to calm every one's fears about fires. With me being home the next four days, the likelihood of a fire was just about zero, unless I set the stove on fire myself. I did not cook at all. I made gelatin and ordered out pizza.
Ah. The last skill point I needed to promote! This is Monday night. I immediately got on the phone and made best friends with Meadow Thayer, which put me in a strong platinum mood. I then filled all my needs.
That night Jennifer came out to visit us. She didn't bother anyone. She only visited her favorite object in the world, her bed. Then she toured the grounds outside. It was nice seeing Jennifer again.
Norma Jean started badmouthing me. After all, not every party I had was a success. My feelings were hurt. But I got over it quickly. I was nearly free.
"Hmmm...maybe I can climb up and out the chimney????"
The big day finally came. I had the promotion slip in my hand, and a bank statement. I had earned §25,000! And I had gotten promoted to Captain Hero! I brought ASimWen home with me to celebrate!
- Start with 100
- No Influence 20
- Skills 131
- Aspiration 122
- Friends 12
- Days 30
- 1 Death 20
Ending Score 335
Stay tuned....ASimWen is gonna fix up the dump!